Partner connection

I checked my blog post to see how often I talk about connection. 20 posts only, over the years, and some of them were about the VCR/TV, so time to re-visit that most important aspect of partnered dancing.
For the man, I've stopped saying "Hold her" because then he thinks of using his fingers which is uncomfortable.
For the lady, the slight pull back into the man's hand is a feeling that can take a while to get, especially if he is deferential or gets lazy.
If there is distance between the two, as we commonly dance in social American style, this connection becomes crucial.
More distance, more important, such as in West Coast Swing, or any time dancers are at arms length in the open positions. The connection goes deep into the palm of the hands and thereby connects to the back.