Good puns

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Police were called to a day care where a 3-yr-old was resisting a rest.
The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart
You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.